But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Randomize
