Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
