It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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