You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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