She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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