Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
