Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
