What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize