Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
