We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
