I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
