why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
