her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
