shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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