i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
