at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
