I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we're making bets on your personal life
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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