omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
