he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Drunk is not a location!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
