i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
