the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
