Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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