and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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