There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
