covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
