You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
