So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
