Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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