can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
