Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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