i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
