Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
