you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
