He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
