is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
