I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
