so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
3 2 1 whiskey
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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