Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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