? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
