all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
