He asked to "fluff my boner.."
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
