I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize