Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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