he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
