where does the pee come out of this thing
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize