Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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