If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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