come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
