38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
