Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
