yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
