I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He did a backflip because drugs
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
