Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
