what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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