YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I am naked and annoyed.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
