Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
