dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
