Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
