Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
