Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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