Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
