Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
