People in love make me want to vomit
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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