I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
